no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
