is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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