garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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