just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
