chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
