He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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