but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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