Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
