i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
