Will you blow on my dice?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
