And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He passed out mid-signature
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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