and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
