well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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