dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
