david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
