I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize