Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
