Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
