belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
