"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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