If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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