Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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