I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
