is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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