please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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