Kiss
Puke
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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