He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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