Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
