Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
