I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
What a dumb baby whore.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
