Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
