I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
