Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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