Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
