so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize