The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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