Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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