Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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