More tranny stories later!
I need to stop coming to work sober
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
