around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
