I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
