Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
