So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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