ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
