she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
