Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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