Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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