Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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