new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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