put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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