does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
