we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
