just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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