the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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