so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize