there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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