When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
