nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well I just put wine in my tea
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
