Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
