I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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