Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize