Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
