You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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