I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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